Since his story was told in the Detroit News, I've been following his fight and journey on CarePages, a great blogging tool made especially for those in hospital or fighting serious illnesses, something they didn't yet have when I was so sick.
About a month ago, doctors made it clear that Miles would not beat his cancer and while those of us following along knew the end was near, many of us still hoped for a miracle.
Each time as of late that I received an email notifying that Miles' page had been updated, a sense of dread loomed over. This morning it was confirmed, Miles passed away.
I can't imagine what his parents and sister must be going through, but I bet for him personally it is a relief and a blessing, or at least, that's how I would imagine it after my long experience with a serious illness and pain.
Often times when my body was racked with pain and the illness seemed to completely consume every part of my life, I prayed for an end to it all.
Sometimes that meant death, other times it meant a deep, unconscious sleep that lasted for months until my body could heal itself. I never quite tolerated painkillers very well, and my threshold for pain was so high, that often times I was just left to deal with it, despite the doctors and nurses best efforts.
Miles described his last couple weeks as full of pain, something that reminded me a lot of my pain, mind-numbing and all-consuming. While I don't believe that anyone really sets out to die, given his experience, his pain, and his revelations on life and dying with dignity, I believe that Miles was ready to move on from this earthly life to something better. Here are his words, courtesy of the Detroit News, on death and dying -
If my struggle with cancer galvanizes actions of goodness, I can rest assured that even if I succumb to the rogue cells I will leave behind a legacy of victory. Dying is not what scares me. It's dying and having had no impact.
Miles will be missed by many of us who never met him. The thousands and thousands of lives he touched through his blog, his interview with CNN's Anderson Cooper, his caregivers at Beaumont Hospital, and of course his friends and family can never quite be counted. His impact on all of us, guiding us how to live and die with dignity in a most uncontrollable situation will be forever felt.
Rest in peace Miles, God knows you've earned it.
Update: The Detroit News' Laura Berman has a touching memoriam to Levin here
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