In an event that has left Michigan police stunned, many of the Michigan Liberal Muggles have suddenly disappeared into thin air immediately after receiving ownership of the 7th and final book in the Harry Potter series.
Reported disappearances include LiberalLucy and LPackard from a well-known progressive bookstore, Everybody Reads in Lansing, and an unnamed female from Shiawassee County. Numerous other disappearances across the state are also suspected and are currently under investigation.
Both LiberalLucy and LPackard were reported eating Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans shortly before they vanished into thin air. Authorities are analyzing the candy to make sure that they didn't hail from the Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, a magical joke shop known for it's pranks and hi-jinxes.
Witness and local resident Arabella Figg, spoke with reporters shortly after the mysterious event
"I'm not sure what happened, it was all very sudden. There were several boys named Dick and Saul running around making noise and causing trouble before the girls disappeared, but I really doubt they had anything to do with it. They just kept throwing powder laundry detergent at people trying to cast spells, and even with the Dark Mark that appeared on each of their arms, it was just a lot of soap and hope that kept fizzling out."
An anonymous source close to the investigation report the authorities now believe that the books were actually portkeys. If found to be true, it would tie in with sightings of the missing Muggles running towards Platform 9 3/4's at their local train station.
Regardless of these recent developments, police hope that the missing Muggle Bloggers will be safely returned back to their rightful spots in front of their computers by Monday at 8am.
If you spot LiberalLucy, LPackard, or the unnamed female Muggle from Shiawassee County, you are asked to contact authorities immediately.
(Rita Skeeter is a writer for the Daily Prophet and fashion correspondent for Witches Weekly)
1 comment:
So was Keith Olbermann right? I've never read any of the Harry Potter books, but I saw his explanation of the way he thought it'd end, and it made sense.
Enjoy the book.
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